hunger part 2

 Ammar lived. Don’t worry dear friends. Ammar do involved in the accident, but he survived, with waist down paralysis. This sweet little matured Iman took him, and his siblings with her. They get married. And happily ever after is all they can imagined.

All Ammar and his siblings can imagined.

 You know the nature of predator right, they see, they stalk, and they attack when they know they can win. She is one now. She know she can win, she know she is the sole winner of this competition. Ammar has literally no power. Even his junkies can’t be used. That’s why she took them in. she just wanted to play with her food, Ammar. And once she’s bored, she’ll hunt again. Its not about hunger anymore. Its about cravings.

So she did what he did to him.

He calls up for her, she remain silent staring right through his face

He complaints his hungry, she point out the food in the fridge

He said he’s sick, she’ll go all baby-voice ‘alolololo, kesiann.’ And left

But on the good day,

She brings home feast for all of them

She reads his favorite book to him before bed

She cuddles with him watching Marvel movies

But never in a week straight. Just like how his sweet gestures to her was. Ammar can’t complaint because he knows what she’s doing. He must be thinking, I should really treat this petite girl right when I got the chance, because she is still petite now, but she is more of a devil than the satan itself. And he wish he died in the accident, because somehow living was worst than hell at this point of his life. 

hungry

Hungry

 Physically, mentally or emotionally? I like to read, I like to write, but I suck being fat and artsy. So yeah, not a good combination if you ever dream of being a travel journalist with easy going appetite, and rocking a simple top and shorts with this flabbing thighs right? So, I’m Iman, 23 years old girl, live and breed in Ipoh,  pursuing her degree (working her ass off trying to keep her head above drowning final year project commitment) and keeping balance with her personal life, love life, soon-to-be life and of course family.

This girl, she is hungry for excitement, hungry for adventure, hungry for adrenaline and hungry for food. She is in constant hunger, that her long term boyfriend can no longer satisfies her. Not the sex part. They are a team. They are THE team. They log each other presence, each other silence, each other passion each other everything. They have each other, and each other is all they need. Until Iman realized that each other is not enough. Her hunger strikes upon 9^th year of their relationship.

Suddenly Amar (her boyfriend) bail for their date become a spark to a nuclear war. Ammar lack of interest in her new findings in her study is no longer cute or good distractions, and Ammar ignorance during she is sick sums it all. They fight. No, he did not fight. She fight, fight for what she taught was right, fight for their relationship, fight for their future. She taught he’ll do something different this time. But after a week, not a single sorry was offered, Ammar comeback with, “Sayang, you never understand my position, I have works, my siblings need me. Think whatever you like. I’ll know we find a way through this somehow, we always do” and all Iman said is….

‘No we wont, because I wont try to fix it this time. And I know you wont try alone. So be it.’

Iman craving got worst, she doesn’t have anybody else to share her thought, to share her problem or even to have a meal with. And she keep on wondering whether she makes the right choice dumping Ammar. So she started a journal. She write everything inside.

1^st January 2015 – Happy New Year Iman. You’re a year older, must be a year wiser okay. Don’t depends on others. They don’t even like you. Ammar sent his regards. That boy, never know how to move on. Serve him right! Hahahahah

2^nd January 2015- I don’t feel good. Stomach ache since last night. Should have not mistaken that pain killer for mentos mint. Sigh. Cant even sit up right, how am I suppose to study? Ammar left me 32 messages and countless whatsapp messages. What’s up with that boy? Pathetic much?

3^rd January 2015- Good luck for your paper sweet heart. You can do this, even with your throbbing head, your flaming tonsil and your constant vomiting. Ace this paper bitch! You can do it!!! 42 miscalled from Ammar’s phone. Preparing your sorry speech I suppose? To what? My voicemail?

4^th January 2015- I can’t enter the examination hall. Something about, not fit to sit for the paper, what the hell is that suppose to mean? My parents are on the way to fetch me. I’m feeling okay I guess. Besides this few cuts and bruises on my arm.

7^th January 2015- they left me in the hospital. For observation purposes. I can’t keep track on my phone. What if Ammar has been contacting me. I know he is sorry. Everyone can read his name on my arm. Its our anniversary after all. I know he bought me something he always do.

Ammar

That psycho bitch finally left me. I don’t need any young student girl dragging down my feet  with everything that she can lay her eyes with. I need an independent girl. Not a clingy girlfriend who always gossip and know things more than me. Finally I’m free.

31^st December 2015

11.30pm – that bitch left me. Lets have some fun tonight, 2 round of shishas on me guys. Come on! Its new year eve.

1^st January 2015

12.00am  – I’m Sorry sayang. I know that’s all you wanted to hear from me. Now I’ve said it. But neither one of us can hear it.

‘KORBAN TAHUN BARU, 3 LELAKI MAUT APABILA MOTOSIKAL DINAIKI MEREKA BERTEMBUNG DENGAN SEBUAH KERETA DALAM PERJALANAN KE KINTA RIVERFRONT MALAM TADI. MANGSA YANG BERUMUR DALAM LINGKUNGAN 25-30 TAHUN MATI DI TEMPAT KEJADIAN’

-until now, she is still hungry. Craving for something she couldn’t have, because someone refuse to give her when they can. And when the times is up, both of them suffer. The live suffer more because, once you’re dead, there is no turning back