downpour

it started with a mere instax camera
to a jolly sweet chocolate house dinner
followed by a joyful night of dancing fountain
to a exhausting hike of broga
to a lovely sunset of pd
to a nice long run around putrajaya
to a sky floor in subang
to a fast adrenalin rush on rollerblade
continue with light melawati kebab in front Putra mosque
with a mouth full of white grape mint flavor for wrap up

-things you promise
-things i asked
-things we want
-things dont happen
-us happened
-separation happens
-you and i happen
we dont last, because i'm not equipped to handle heartbreak, again and again
promises after promises
deals after deals
paycheck after paycheck
and siblings after siblings

i am sorry
truly am

call me a hypocrite or just plain stupid
some people like babies, i see a fragile time bomb that my hand couldn't handle

its been  7 years
i've known you for 9

if this dont work, go away. please

used to

you know what, when i'm still a young girl, i used to dream of having grand wedding. to have everything a girl could dream of a man. rich and famous. cars and the cards. luxury and everything.

but now, it dont even matter. i barely think about marriage at this age. as i grow i realised that only I can make myself happy. I can't be satisfied with me. so i'll tend to strive harder.

i just want to say that,
i enjoy my hiking trip
i almost fell and die
i'm a tough girl who help this kid twice my size to hike
the weather are freaking cold
the journey are hard
i cant cook rice using mass tin
i can assemble a tent
i prefer having sun-kissed skin than white finger syndrome
i have cramp on the first night
i have bruises all over my legs
the guiders are very helpful

i just thought somebody will asked. yeah, somebody would actually care about what i'm doing.
not solely about her work
about his family problem

then i realised, nobody actually gives crap when you're okay. u got the attention when u excel, or you failed. not when you're okay.
so i pickup the phone, and i've sign up for the diving course. let my 1.5k burnt. for my self-satisfaction.
yup, its finally all about me.
not about him and his family, about her and her job, or about anyone else. i'm finally realised saving money for marriage is a waste. i'm saving for me. I am not a waste.

i've changed baby. i've changed alot. if u asked why, let me tell you

KLCC fountain. thats it. :)