farewell

So, another anak angkat program tomorrow. Tak eager langsung. In fact rasa macam tak nak pergi. Don’t exactly know why. But no hyperactive-happy-carefree mood is turn on right now.

Friends do come and  go, and the saddest part is when your so thought best friends isolate you. Pretty harsh right? I do sometimes thinks that, its my ego that drifts us apart. But I started not to care because just like others I do have feelings too. And just like others I also felt neglected too. And by the way, I’m not perasan bagus, bajet bagus, pandang rendah dekat korang, thought that you’re nuisance to me, or trying to be a leader. I  just want to finish up our groupwork assignments, and sadly there is no we in the assignment. Tapi nak buat macam mana, its my fault because being over, dramatic, stress up and what other fuck off feelings. So sorry is the most I can offer.

I don’t think that I can just fake a smile and act like nothing happen between us. And is the three of you I must face. And it feels unfair. So, I’m gonna sit here quietly, act like nothings happen and just carry on with my life. I wouldn’t lie, it does hurt me when I hear your laugh, when I saw you girls hanging around, cracking a joke and lots more. But I cant afford to just join you girls back. I’m not a vengeance person. I don’t hold any grudge against all of you I’m just hurt. And when I’m hurt I keep quiet and I back off.

About the other night, yes, you do not know me. You do not know me at all. If you do know me, you know how I work, you know my friends are my everything, I wouldn’t do or say anything intentionally to hurt my friends. And I am sensitive. I keen to put up a smile, to laugh hysterically, but later, late at night I call faiz, I spill everything to him and he comforts me. This cycle begins as days past. Surprised ? I hope not.

Farewell my friends. Truth be told, you girls are the best damn thing that keeps me going in this hectic university life. I do give up sometimes, I do lost my touch sometimes, I do felt lonely sometimes, you girls make it bearable for me to go through all the bullshit that encounter me in this university. Thanks for the strength even if its temporarily.  Salamualaik